was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
