would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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