Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
