at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
