Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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