So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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