hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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