I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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