can u get pink eye on your cock?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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