speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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