Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Of course I have a pirate flag
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
