I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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