I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
