i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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