The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
