The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
