I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
are you so shy because you have an std?
i will never coherently bang her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
