No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
