we made out on top of his cat.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
