Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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