Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
