bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
