No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
