Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
