His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
