Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
