Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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