If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i think i have two assholes
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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