I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I will pee on everything he values.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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