And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
