so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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