Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
