i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
