I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
