she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's blow job season.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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