Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
