You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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