I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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