giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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