Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
