no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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