We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the liver wants what the liver wants
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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