I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
