Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
