woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
