from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
