We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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