Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
