I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I understand Curling. That high.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
