Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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