ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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