I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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