We won't sleep together?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
As shirtless as possible
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
